# Do I Have to Keep Using My Ex's Last Name? What About the Kids' Names? After a divorce, many people want a fresh start. For some, that includes going back to their birth name or choosing a different surname altogether. Others wonder whether their children's last names can or should change. These are separate questions with different answers. Changing your own name is relatively straightforward. Changing your children's names is more complicated and usually requires the other parent's consent. This guide explains how name changes work in Ontario after separation or divorce, for both adults and children. ## Changing Your Own Name After Divorce Let's start with the simpler question: can you change your own last name after divorce? **Yes, absolutely.** You have complete control over your own name. You don't need your ex's permission, and you don't need a court order in most cases. ### You Have Several Options **Option 1: Resume your birth name** If you took your spouse's name when you married, you can go back to using your birth name. In Ontario, this is called "resuming" your prior name, and it doesn't require a formal legal name change application. You can usually go back to your prior surname without a formal legal name change, but you still need to update each ID and record with whatever proof that organization requires. **Option 2: Formal name change** If you want to change to a name other than your birth name (for example, a completely new surname), you'll need to go through Ontario's formal name change process through ServiceOntario. **Option 3: Keep your married name** You're not required to change your name. Many people keep their married name for practical reasons: it matches their children's name, it's on their professional credentials, or they simply prefer it. There's no legal obligation to change your name after divorce. It's entirely your choice. ### How to Resume Your Birth Name If you're going back to your birth name (the name on your original birth certificate), you don't need a court order or a formal name change application. You update your documents by providing proof that connects your current identity to your prior name. **What you'll need:** Your **marriage certificate** helps connect your identity across surnames. Different agencies may ask for additional documents depending on their requirements. If you're divorced, your **divorce certificate** or **Certificate of Divorce** can also help demonstrate the change in circumstances. Some organizations may require specific combinations of documents, and requirements vary. Check with each agency about what they need. **Documents to update:** - Driver's licence (ServiceOntario) - Health card (ServiceOntario) - Passport (Service Canada) - Social Insurance Number records (Service Canada) - Bank accounts - Credit cards - Employment records - Professional licences and designations - Property titles - Vehicle registration - Voter registration - CRA records Each organization has its own process and document requirements. Government agencies typically require you to appear in person with supporting documents. Banks and other private organizations have their own procedures. What's sufficient proof for one organization may not be enough for another. **Cost:** Resuming your birth name itself is free, but there are fees for new documents (new driver's licence, new passport, etc.). ### Formal Name Change Process If you want a name that's different from both your married name and your birth name, you need to apply for a legal name change through ServiceOntario. **Requirements:** - You must be an Ontario resident - You must be at least 16 years old (or have parental consent if younger) - You must not be changing your name for fraudulent purposes - There's an application form and fee **The process:** 1. Complete the application form 2. Provide required documents (birth certificate, current ID, etc.) 3. Pay the fee (check ServiceOntario for current amounts) 4. Wait for processing (typically several weeks) 5. Receive your Change of Name Certificate 6. Update all your documents using the certificate The Change of Name Certificate becomes your proof of your new legal name. This certificate may also be required by some organizations even when resuming a prior surname, depending on their policies. ### No Permission Needed from Your Ex To be clear: you do not need your ex-spouse's consent to change your own name. Whether you're resuming your birth name or choosing an entirely new name, this is your decision alone. Your ex has no legal say in what you call yourself. ## Changing Your Children's Names Changing a child's name is a completely different matter. Children can't change their own names, and one parent generally cannot unilaterally change a child's name without the other parent's involvement. ### Both Parents Usually Need to Consent In Ontario, to legally change a child's name, you typically need the **consent of everyone who has decision-making responsibility** (formerly custody) for the child. If both parents have decision-making responsibility (which is common), both parents must consent to the name change. If only one parent has sole decision-making responsibility, that parent may be able to change the child's name, but the process isn't necessarily automatic. Even with sole decision-making responsibility, the other parent may still need to be notified or may be able to object depending on the specific terms of any court order or agreement in place. ### Eligibility and Residency Requirements Ontario has residency and eligibility requirements for child name change applications. Generally, the child must have a connection to Ontario, such as having lived in Ontario for a certain period or since birth. The person applying must have legal authority to do so. Existing court orders or separation agreements can also limit or restrict name changes. If your [separation agreement](/blog/separation-agreement-ontario-what-to-include) or a court order addresses the children's names, those terms may affect what you can do. ### The Name Change Application Process for Children To change a child's name in Ontario: 1. Complete the application form (different from the adult form) 2. Provide the child's birth certificate 3. Provide consent from all persons with decision-making responsibility 4. If the child is 12 or older, the child must also consent 5. Pay the fee 6. Submit to ServiceOntario If everyone consents, the eligibility requirements are met, and the paperwork is in order, the name change is processed administratively. ### What If the Other Parent Won't Consent? If the other parent refuses to consent to the name change, you cannot simply proceed without them. You would need to apply to the court for permission to change the child's name over the other parent's objection. Courts are generally **reluctant to change children's names** over a parent's objection unless there's a compelling reason. The court will consider the [best interests of the child](/glossary#letter-b), which includes factors like: - The child's relationship with both parents - How long the child has used their current name - The child's own views (especially for older children) - Whether the name change would benefit or harm the child - The reasons for the proposed change - The reasons for the objection **Common reasons courts may approve a name change:** - Safety concerns (for example, if one parent poses a danger and a name change helps protect the child) - The child strongly identifies with a different name - The child has been using a different name for a long time - The objecting parent has had little or no involvement in the child's life **Common reasons courts may refuse a name change:** - The main purpose seems to be erasing the other parent's connection to the child - The objecting parent has an ongoing, meaningful relationship with the child - The child is well-established under their current name - The name change doesn't serve any clear benefit to the child Simply wanting the child to have your name instead of your ex's name is usually not enough to override the other parent's objection. ### Children 12 and Older Must Consent In Ontario, if a child is 12 years old or older, the child must consent to their own name change. This applies whether both parents agree or one parent is seeking a court order. If a teenager doesn't want their name changed, it won't be changed, regardless of what the parents want. ### What About Hyphenating or Adding a Name? Some parents want to add their name to the child's existing surname (creating a hyphenated name) rather than replacing the other parent's name entirely. This is still a name change and requires the same process: consent from everyone with decision-making responsibility, or a court order if there's no consent. Courts may be somewhat more receptive to adding a name (preserving both parents' surnames) than to completely replacing one parent's name with the other's. But it's not guaranteed, and the other parent can still object. ### Informal Name Use vs. Legal Name Change There's a difference between a child's **legal name** (what's on their birth certificate and official documents) and the **name they use day-to-day**. Some parents informally use a different name for their child without legally changing it. For example, a child might be "Emma Smith" on their birth certificate but go by "Emma Jones" at their mother's house. This informal use doesn't change the child's legal name. The child's official documents (health card, school records, passport) will still show their legal name. Schools generally use the child's legal name for official records but may accommodate a preferred name for day-to-day use. Talk to the school about their policies. Using an informal name can create confusion and complications, especially when official documents are needed. It can also become a source of conflict between parents. ## Your Ex Can't Force You to Change Your Name Just as you don't need your ex's permission to change your name, your ex also **cannot force you to change your name**. If you want to keep your married name, that's your right. Your ex has no legal basis to demand that you stop using "their" name. Once you took that name in marriage, it became your name too. Some people feel strongly that their ex shouldn't continue using their family name. That feeling is understandable, but it's not legally enforceable. ## Professional and Practical Considerations When deciding whether to change your name, consider practical factors: **Professional identity:** If you've built a career under your married name, changing it may create confusion. Clients, colleagues, and professional networks know you by that name. Some people keep their married name professionally while using their birth name personally. **Consistency with children:** If your children have your married name and you change yours, you'll have a different surname than your kids. This can create minor inconveniences (questions at school pickup, travel documentation) but isn't a legal problem. **Documentation burden:** Changing your name means updating many documents. This takes time and may involve fees (new passport, etc.). Different organizations have different requirements, so be prepared for some back-and-forth. **Emotional significance:** For some people, shedding a married name is an important part of moving on. For others, the name has become part of their identity regardless of the marriage. There's no wrong answer. Choose what feels right for your situation. ## Children's Names and Travel If you're travelling internationally with your child and you have different last names, carry documentation showing your relationship. This might include: - The child's birth certificate (showing you as a parent) - A court order regarding [parenting arrangements](/blog/custody-vs-access-decision-making-parenting-time) - A consent letter from the other parent Border officials may ask questions when a child travels with an adult who has a different surname. Having documentation ready prevents delays. This applies regardless of whether there's been a name change. If you resumed your birth name after divorce and your child still has your ex's surname, carry the paperwork. ## Key Takeaways **Your own name:** You can change your name after divorce without your ex's permission. You can resume your birth name by updating your documents with appropriate proof, or apply for a formal name change to a completely new name. **Document requirements vary:** Different organizations require different proof when you're updating your name. Check with each agency about their specific requirements. **No obligation to change:** You're not required to change your name after divorce. Keeping your married name is perfectly legal. **Your ex can't force a change:** Your ex has no legal right to make you stop using your married name. **Children's names are different:** Changing a child's name requires consent from everyone with decision-making responsibility, or a court order. Ontario also has residency and eligibility requirements, and existing court orders or agreements can limit changes. **Sole decision-making doesn't mean automatic:** Even a parent with sole decision-making responsibility may face notice requirements or the other parent's right to object, depending on any orders or agreements in place. **Courts are cautious:** Courts generally won't change a child's name over a parent's objection unless there's a genuine benefit to the child beyond just matching the other parent's surname. **Children 12+ must consent:** In Ontario, children aged 12 and older must consent to their own name change. **Consider practical factors:** Think about professional identity, consistency with your children's names, and the documentation effort before deciding. **Travel documentation:** If you and your child have different surnames, carry documentation showing your relationship when travelling. ### Disclaimer This article provides general information about name changes in Ontario after divorce. It is not legal advice. Name change requirements and processes can vary, and specific situations may have additional considerations. For advice about your situation, speak to a family law lawyer or contact ServiceOntario.