# How Do We Make a Parenting Plan That a Canadian Court Will Take Seriously? If you and your co-parent are separating, one of the most important documents you can create together is a parenting plan. Done well, a parenting plan can help you avoid court entirely. Done poorly, or left too vague, it can lead to ongoing conflict, misunderstandings, and expensive legal battles. The good news is that Canadian courts actively encourage parents to create their own parenting plans rather than having a judge decide for them. But for a court to take your plan seriously, whether you submit it for approval or need to rely on it later, it needs to be thoughtful, detailed, and focused on one thing above all else: your children's [best interests](/glossary#letter-b). This article explains what courts look for in a parenting plan, what elements to include, and how to make sure your plan can hold up if it ever needs to be enforced. ## What Is a Parenting Plan? A parenting plan is a written document that describes how separated or divorced parents will raise their children. It covers how you will divide time with your children, who will make major decisions about their lives, and how you will handle the practical details of co-parenting. Under the [Divorce Act](/glossary#letter-d), a parenting plan is defined as a document containing the elements relating to parenting time, decision-making responsibility, or contact to which the parties agree. If you are dealing with parenting issues under Ontario's Children's Law Reform Act rather than the federal Divorce Act, the concept is essentially the same. A parenting plan can be part of a broader [separation agreement](/blog/separation-agreement-ontario-what-to-include), or it can stand alone. Either way, the goal is to create a clear roadmap for how you and your co-parent will work together to raise your children after separation. ## Why Courts Prefer Parent-Made Plans Canadian family law, including the Divorce Act, encourages parents to resolve parenting disputes through family dispute resolution processes like negotiation, [mediation](/blog/how-to-choose-a-divorce-mediator-in-ontario), or collaborative divorce, rather than going to court. There are several reasons for this. First, you know your children better than any judge ever could. A court hearing might last a few hours, but you have years of experience understanding what your children need. Parents who create their own plans can tailor the details to their specific family circumstances in ways that a court order simply cannot. Second, plans that parents agree to are more likely to work in practice. When both parents have input into the plan and feel heard, they are more invested in making it succeed. Court-imposed orders, by contrast, can sometimes feel like something imposed on one or both parents, which can breed resentment and non-compliance. Third, court proceedings are expensive, stressful, and time-consuming. Creating your own plan allows you to resolve issues faster and preserve resources for your children's future. Under section 16.6(1) of the Divorce Act, if you submit a parenting plan to the court, the court must include it in your parenting order unless the court determines it is not in your children's best interests. In other words, courts generally respect the plans parents create together, as long as those plans prioritize the children. ## The Best Interests of the Child: The Foundation of Every Parenting Plan Every parenting arrangement in Canada, whether agreed to by parents or ordered by a court, must be based on the best interests of the child. This is not just a nice principle. It is a legal requirement under both the Divorce Act and provincial family law statutes like Ontario's Children's Law Reform Act. When courts assess the best interests of the child, they consider many factors, including the child's physical, emotional, and psychological safety, security, and well-being. The Divorce Act gives primary consideration to these factors. Courts also look at the child's needs based on their age and stage of development, the nature of the child's relationship with each parent, each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent (except where there are safety concerns), and any history of family violence. There is no presumption of equal parenting time. The Divorce Act states that a child should have as much time with each parent as is consistent with the best interests of the child. This is not a 50/50 rule. It simply means that meaningful time with both parents is generally considered important, unless circumstances suggest otherwise. If you want your parenting plan to be taken seriously, every provision should be clearly tied to what is best for your children. A court reviewing your plan will be looking for evidence that you have put your children's needs ahead of your own preferences. ## What to Include in a Strong Parenting Plan A parenting plan that a court will take seriously needs to be detailed enough to provide clear guidance but flexible enough to adapt as your children grow. Here are the key elements to address. ### Decision-Making Responsibility Since March 2021, Canadian family law uses the term "decision-making responsibility" rather than "custody" for married parents under the Divorce Act. Ontario's Children's Law Reform Act uses the same terminology. You may still see the older terms in some resources or older court orders, but when drafting a new plan, use the current language. Decision-making responsibility refers to the authority to make significant decisions about your child's life, including education, health care, religion, and extracurricular activities. Your plan should specify whether you will share decision-making responsibility jointly, whether one parent will have sole decision-making responsibility, or whether you will divide decision-making by category. For example, one parent might make health decisions while the other makes education decisions. If you are sharing decision-making responsibility, explain how you will communicate about major decisions and what happens if you cannot agree. Will you try mediation first? Will one parent have final say on certain matters? ### Parenting Time Schedule The parenting time schedule is often the most detailed part of a parenting plan. The more specific you are, the less room there is for conflict later. Your schedule should cover regular weekly or bi-weekly arrangements, specifying which days and times the child is with each parent. It should also address holidays and special occasions like statutory holidays, school breaks, religious holidays, birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and family events. Summer vacations and extended travel periods need their own provisions. You should also include details about pickup and drop-off arrangements, including times, locations, and who is responsible for transportation. A vague schedule like "the children will spend time with each parent" is not helpful. Courts want to see specifics: "The children will be with Parent A from Friday at 5:00 p.m. until Sunday at 6:00 p.m. on alternating weekends, beginning [date]." If your children are young or have not spent much time with one parent, consider a step-up plan that gradually increases parenting time as everyone adjusts. ### Transitions and Exchanges How will you handle transitions between homes? Smooth transitions are important for children's sense of stability. Your plan should address where exchanges will happen. Will it be at one parent's home, at school, or at a neutral location? It should specify who is responsible for transportation. Will the parent receiving the child pick them up, or will the parent ending their time drop off? The plan should also include what happens if someone is running late, and how you will communicate changes. If there is high conflict between you and your co-parent, you might specify that exchanges happen in public places or that you will minimize direct contact during transitions. ### Communication Between Parents Effective co-parenting requires ongoing communication. Your plan should address how you will communicate about day-to-day matters and bigger decisions. Options include phone calls, text messages, email, or a co-parenting app. Some parents find that written communication like email or apps works better because it creates a record and allows time to respond thoughtfully rather than reacting in the moment. You might also include guidelines about tone and response times. For example, "Parents will respond to non-urgent messages within 48 hours" or "Communication will be limited to matters concerning the children." ### Communication Between Children and the Other Parent Children benefit from being able to stay connected to both parents, even when they are with the other parent. Your plan should address whether and when children can call, text, or video chat with the other parent during parenting time. Be specific and realistic. Constant interruptions can be disruptive, but completely cutting off contact during the other parent's time is generally not in the child's best interests either. ### Right of First Refusal A right of first refusal means that if one parent cannot care for the child during their scheduled parenting time (for example, if they need to work or travel), they must offer the other parent the chance to take the child before arranging alternative care like a babysitter or grandparent. This can help maximize both parents' time with the children. If you include this, specify how much notice is required and what counts as a triggering event. For instance, you might say the right of first refusal applies when a parent will be unavailable for more than four consecutive hours. ### Handling Disagreements Even the best co-parenting relationships hit bumps. Your plan should include a process for resolving disagreements. Will you attempt mediation before going back to court? Will you use a parenting coordinator? Having a dispute resolution process built into your plan shows the court that you have thought ahead and are committed to working things out. ### Relocation Provisions What happens if one parent wants to move? The Divorce Act has specific rules about relocation that require notice to the other parent and, in some cases, court approval. Your plan should address how you will handle potential moves, including how much advance notice is required and how you will negotiate changes to the parenting schedule if a move happens. ### Provisions for Special Circumstances Depending on your family's situation, you may need to address additional topics. These might include the child's involvement in activities and sports, and how decisions about signing up will be made. You might need to address school choice, especially if you live in different school districts. If your child has special needs, you should include provisions about medical appointments, therapies, and educational supports. Dietary restrictions, religious practices, or cultural traditions may also need specific provisions. Rules about introducing new partners to the children is another common topic. ## Making Your Plan Legally Enforceable A parenting plan that you and your co-parent agree to is a written agreement that can be relied on in court. However, unlike a commercial contract, parenting arrangements are not enforced simply by proving a breach. A judge will still assess what is in the child's best interests before making any enforcement decisions. Here are the main options for formalizing your plan. ### Keep It Between Yourselves If you have an amicable relationship and trust each other to follow the plan, you may not need to involve the court at all. Your written agreement is still a contract, and you can take the other parent to court later if they breach it. However, enforcing an informal agreement takes more time and effort than enforcing a court order. ### File It with the Court (for Support Terms) In Ontario, you can file a domestic contract with the court using Form 26B (Affidavit for Filing Domestic Contract with Court). However, this filing mechanism is mainly for having support provisions enforced through the Family Responsibility Office. It cannot be used to enforce parenting terms like decision-making responsibility or parenting time. For parenting arrangements, you generally need to go through the court process, either by getting a consent order or by bringing a motion or application if there is a dispute. ### Get a Consent Order If you want the strongest protection for your parenting arrangements, you can ask the court to make your agreement into a consent order. In Ontario, this typically involves preparing Minutes of Settlement that set out your agreed terms, filing a Form 14B (Motion Form) on consent, and submitting a draft Form 25 (Order) for the judge to sign. Once a judge approves your plan and issues an order, breaking the terms can result in serious consequences, including contempt of court. Which option is right for you depends on your circumstances, your relationship with your co-parent, and how much you want the court involved. If you are unsure, it is worth [speaking with a family law lawyer](/blog/how-to-choose-a-divorce-lawyer-in-ontario) or getting [unbundled legal help](/blog/unbundled-limited-scope-family-lawyers-ontario) to review your plan before you finalize it. ## What Makes Courts Reject or Modify a Plan? Courts generally respect parenting plans that parents agree to, but they will modify or reject a plan if it does not serve the child's best interests. Red flags include plans that do not prioritize the child's safety, security, and well-being. Plans that seem designed to limit one parent's relationship with the child without good reason raise concerns. Vague or unworkable provisions that are likely to cause ongoing conflict are problematic. Plans that do not account for the child's age, needs, or preferences (where appropriate) may be modified. Anything that suggests one parent pressured or coerced the other into agreeing can also lead the court to reject the plan. If family violence has been a factor in your relationship, courts will look very carefully at whether the plan adequately protects the children. In some cases, mediation or negotiation may not be appropriate, and you may need to [seek legal help to ensure your safety](/blog/how-to-safely-start-separation-abusive-relationship-canada). ## When You Cannot Agree on a Plan If you and your co-parent cannot agree on a parenting plan even after trying negotiation or mediation, you may need to go to court. In that case, each parent typically files their proposed parenting plan, and a judge will decide based on the best interests of the child. The judge may order one parent's plan, the other parent's plan, or a combination of both. Going to court should generally be a last resort. It is expensive, time-consuming, and stressful for everyone, including your children. But sometimes it is necessary, especially if there are safety concerns or if one parent is simply unwilling to cooperate. If you are heading toward a contested hearing, understanding the [family law rules](/blog/family-law-rules-ontario-plain-language-guide) and the [forms you will need](/blog/divorce-papers-ontario-forms-you-need) can help you prepare. ## Reviewing and Updating Your Plan Children's needs change as they grow. A parenting plan that works perfectly for a toddler may not work for a teenager. Build review dates into your plan, perhaps every two to three years, to revisit the arrangements and make adjustments as needed. If circumstances change significantly, such as a new job, a health issue, or a child's changing needs, you can agree to modify the plan at any time. If you cannot agree, you may need to return to court to request a variation. ## Key Takeaways **The best interests of the child is the foundation of every parenting plan.** Courts will not approve or enforce a plan that does not prioritize what is best for the children. **Use current terminology.** Since 2021, the Divorce Act uses "decision-making responsibility" and "parenting time" rather than "custody" and "access." **Be specific.** Vague plans lead to conflict. Include clear schedules, detailed provisions, and a process for resolving disagreements. **Courts prefer parent-made plans.** Under the Divorce Act, courts must include your agreed plan in an order unless it is not in the child's best interests. **Consider how to make your plan enforceable.** For parenting terms, keeping the agreement between yourselves or getting a consent order are your main options. Filing with the court (Form 26B) is primarily for support enforcement through FRO, not parenting arrangements. **Address the practicalities.** Think about transitions, communication, holidays, right of first refusal, and what happens if one parent wants to move. **Plan for the future.** Build in review dates and a process for making changes as your children grow. **Get help if you need it.** A [family law lawyer](/blog/how-to-choose-a-divorce-lawyer-in-ontario), [mediator](/blog/how-to-choose-a-divorce-mediator-in-ontario), or [divorce coach](/blog/do-i-need-a-divorce-coach) can help you create a plan that works for your family and meets legal standards. **If you cannot agree, court is an option.** But it should generally be a last resort after you have tried other approaches. ### Disclaimer This article provides general information about parenting plans in Canada and Ontario. It is not legal advice and may not apply to your specific situation. Parenting arrangements depend on many factors, including the laws in your province or territory and the particular circumstances of your family. If there are concerns about family violence or safety, the approach to creating a parenting plan may be very different. For advice about your situation, speak to a family law lawyer.